I have not yet been a parent and I am by no means trying to "throw mine under the bus" but I do know what I wished for from my Dad as a child with special needs. Patience. In fairness, I was not diagnosed until a few years past my childhood so at the time
all my parents knew was that I "struggled" but they didn't know why. Whether intentional or not, I believe at times the perception was, and how I saw myself, was to "try harder" I wished I had more patience for moments such as having him help me with my math
homework. I was lost the majority of the time but I wanted to do well, wanted to get it over with, so I would guess and that was very frustrating to him, he'd hit the table because in his mind I believe, I wasn't "trying" to figure out the problem, jsut guessing.
When in reality, my brain was not meant for complex math and I was nervous! The other time I would have liked more patience is doing hands on tasks-working in the yard, fixing things around the house. It do/does can take me more than once to figure out directions-what
to do, when, how. At times there involved yelling and I wanted much to just "do it right" please him. My dad and I have a positive relationship now, but it has taken, time, communication, learning, etc. But again, I would emphasize patience!